Thanks for stopping by!

As you can tell, it has been quite awhile since I’ve posted anything.  Life has a way of getting…well…in the way!  I had a long-term relationship end and a move to Denver to keep me busy for the past year.  But now I’m going to start writing again and hopefully have a surprise or two to announce.

If you’re visiting here for the first time, browse through some of my writing and welcome!   If you’re one of my six readers who are back, thanks for hanging in there.  Either way, don’t be shy, tell me how you feel!

-J

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"I've got condoms"

What do Moe Szyslak, Sam Malone, Isaac Washington and I have in common?

Well, besides the fact that chicks (and more importantly Skepchicks) dig us, we’re the guy all the cool kids want to whip up their favorite libation.  At least that’s the case after today’s “Get to know your Skepchick” post on Skepchick.org.

Atlanta’s very own, very spicy (Grr!) MasalaSkeptic was interviewed by the swami of wearable art SurlyAmy.  Apparently these two shared a suite (Sweet!) at Dragon*Con over Labor Day weekend.  In her quest Amy, aka “The Scientist of Ceramics” took some red-hot snapshots to find out just what makes her fellow Skepchick tick.

Oh, there was a Q & A too.  That’s where I come in.  In question four:

Amy: When we live on our own private Skepchick island, who would you recommend for the bartender position?

Maria: Atlanta Skeptic Joe Anderson (www.thebiot.com) who makes the best margarita I’ve ever tasted and has been known to make Special Skepchick Booze Runs in emergencies. Joe always comes through.

The funny thing is, the margarita isn’t even one of the best drinks that I make.  (For one of those libations, we’ll have to wait for a certain other Skepchick to…eh hem….post the official results of this contest.  Love you E!)

But seriously, being a Skepchick is hard work.  I’m just glad that each week, with the help of a few washed-up guest stars, I’m able to help people find love….No, wait…I’m happy to help the “Love won’t hurt anymore ” Doc get in a program for his sexual addiction…No…I’m still in denial that we had a U.S. Congressman named Gopher…

Forget it.  You know what I mean.

Just click here and sing along.

Where were you?

Even when people know what I do for a living, that’s the first question I always get asked.  No questions about how I almost took off into the recently closed airspace that morning (because there was no FAA tower to tell me it was closed).  None about how it happened or “do you think it could happen again?”.

No one asks if I knew the pilots who were viciously slaughtered by a group of al-Qaeda terrorists.  They don’t even ask about the so-called “20th hijacker” Zacharias Moussaoui, a student I knew at the flight school where I taught.

Nope.  People always ask me the same thing:

“Where were you?”

Asked of my grandparents the question would be about Pearl Harbor.  My parents – JFK.  For me however, people are of course asking about 9/11.  It was my daythatchangedeverything.  They ask where I was because of what we endured that day and the days that followed.  We felt confusion, shock, fear and anger as we watched the symbolic and tangible crash to the ground.  Survivors, covered in dust, rushed away from the buildings while rescuers rushed towards them.

We experienced all of this live as it happened.

Collectively, but individually we lost some of our innocence, some of our very selves.  Asking “Where were you?” is more than just about the details.  It is about reassuring and reconnecting with each other and trying to understand our own identity.

I’m not inclined to give any thought to the 9/11 “truthers” today.  Instead I choose to honor the memory of the people who perished.

So, where were you?

The disaster that saved lives

Captain Jacob van Zanten was the epitome of an airline pilot.  He dressed sharply; his experience and respect positioned him as an instructor for pilots new to the Boeing 747, while his charm and good looks made him a natural choice to be featured in much of his company’s PR material and to be its de facto spokesperson.  In both the public’s eye and in the cockpit he was viewed as a God.

And that is precisely what caused the single worst aviation disaster in history.

On March 27^th, 1977 Captain van Zanten crashed his KLM Airlines 747 into a Pan Am 747 on takeoff, killing 583 passengers and crew.  Though bad weather, bad judgment and even an act of terrorism contributed to the two jumbo jets being on a collision course that Sunday evening, the disaster’s ultimate cause lay in the way an airline captain’s authority was considered unquestionable and inerrant.

His was not simply the last word, it was the only word.

As airlines grew, so did their need for pilots.  Following World War II, there were thousands of trained young men ready to fill those positions created by the growing economy and its demand for fast travel around the country and the world.  It was only natural then, when the military’s culture of discipline and absolute adherence to the chain of command became the accepted norm.

While the unique demands of combat may require a strict, unquestioning reliance on such a system, it proved not to be the best fit for safe public transportation.  In war, there are times when a mission must be undertaken to ultimately save a few or even many thousands of lives.  In commercial aviation however, safety must be the primary consideration.  Flying people on vacation to Disneyworld or business travelers to Cincinnati is not obligatory.  There’s a saying that sums it up nicely:

Takeoffs are optional.  Landings aren’t.

But this lesson hadn’t been learned yet.  Captain van Zanten ultimately ignored the objections of his crew at Tenerife.  There was confusion over whether or not the tower had said they could take off yet.  The men working there had been using non-standard phrases and spoke poor English – the international standard for all aviation communication.

The small airport was pushed to the limit.  They simply were not equipped to handle the dozen or so large aircraft (carrying hundreds of passengers each) that were on the ground.  The planes were diverted to Tenerife after one bomb exploded and threats of another closed their destination, Las Palmas.  All day long, the jumbo jets sat on the ground, waiting at a facility that was neither equipped to handle them, nor their hundreds of passengers.

Once Las Palmas re-opened, fog and lack of space for taxing and takeoff meant there was a lot of radio chatter as controllers tried to get the delayed planes back into the air.  Since the airport wasn’t designed to handle so many large aircraft at the same time, it required more than one to be on the runway at the same time.

When the KLM flight reached the approach end of runway 30 (pronounced “three zero”) it turned around and waited for word from the tower that it could take off.

At this point the Pan Am 747 was still taxiing on the runway towards the other plane.

In the KLM cockpit, Captain van Zanten was watching the clock.  His crew was approaching the end of their legally mandated duty times and would not be able to continue past them.  He knew that if the flight did not leave soon, it would not leave at all.

Then controllers radioed an instruction for Pan Am to make a turn off the runway that didn’t make sense.  It would bring them back to the terminal instead of towards the end of the runway.  Several calls were made back and forth between the cockpit and the tower to clarify what exactly, the Pan Am crew were supposed to do.  The were told to take the next exit off of the runway.

Confusion ensued.

Hearing that the other 747 was supposed to clear the runway, but without an explicit clearance to take off, Captain van Zanten announced to his crew that he was taking off.  The First Officer (FO) spoke up, saying that they had not been cleared yet.  The obviously miffed and possibly embarrased van Zanten grudgingly brought the four hundred ton plane to a stop.

Communication between the tower and the Pan Am jet continued, as its crew tried to understand what the controllers wanted them to do.

Now Van Zanten had his FO query the tower for their take off clearance.  The tower repeated the aircraft’s instructions on what to do after departure, but didn’t issue a take off clearnce.   Inexplicably, the veteran pilot with over eleven thousand hours flight experience advanced the four thrust levers on the 747 and doomed the lives of almost six hundred people.  This time the FO said nothing.

In the Pan Am cockpit, the crew was unaware that KLM was accelerating towards them.  They were still trying to make sense of what the tower had told them.

There was however, still a chance to avoid the disaster.  The Flight Engineer (FE) had been listening to the radio and asked aloud if the other plane was clear of the runway.  Both van Zanten and the FO (now following the lead of his superior) responded “He’s clear”.  The FE stopped his objection.  He had no reason to question the two senior crew members.

The final moments of the flight are well described in this article:

The last recorded words from the crew of KLM was a familiar epithet to those who regularly hear cockpit voice recorder tapes. More than one pilot had uttered the same phrase when confronted with the possibly irreversible reality of impending disaster.  Captain van Zanten said simply:

“Oh, shit!”

The planes crashed.  Hundreds of people perished.

Though it would be easy to blame both crewmen in the cockpit for failing to continue their objections, it simply was not possible for them to do so.  It was not part of the culture.

This fact did not go unnoticed by the industry.  Reliance upon one person to make critical decisions has been replaced by a collaborative effort called Crew Resource Management or CRM.  A system where all members of the crew are utilized in decision making is now the standard for multi-pilot aircraft.  From day one, commercial pilots are taught the advantage of utilizing all of the resources available to them, to include fellow pilots, crewmembers, air traffic controller and even passengers.  While the captain does have the final decision in many, but not all matters, pre-employment screening weeds out those who are unable to work as a team.  Both initial training and continuing education emphasize reliance upon and the cultivation of a cooperative environment in the cockpit and cabin.

Alongside continued technological advances these changes in the way a Captain interacts with fellow pilots have proven successful.  Airlines have seen tremendous growth in safety due to reduction of not only human error, but in the ability of a crew to respond to rare, but inevitable mechanical failures.  The outcomes of the accidents at Sioux Falls and the Hudson river would not have been possible if it were not for their Captains’ involvement of the entire crew in dealing with the emergency.

In no small way, those lives that were lost on Tenerife thirty two years ago have directly led to the safe air travel we enjoy today.  To learn from their tragedy is to honor them.

List of passengers on Pan Am 1736

List of passengers on KLM 4805

You Never Forget Your First Time

Where were you?

I was on active duty in Wertheim, Germany the first time it happened.  I had just left the PX and was walking down some stairs when a buddy of mine yelled to me from across the street:

“Hey man, the Space Shuttle just blew up!”

Of course he was convinced that the Russians had done it.  It was the Cold War, you know.  Wonder what he would think of 9/11?  Later that night, I watched German television play that same clip the entire world saw over and over again.

The second time I was in an airplane over southern Oklahoma,  flying with a student.  I was listening to Fort Worth Center (Air traffic Control) when I heard several pilots report seeing some bright flashes in the sky.  “Must be meteors”, said one guy.  The frequency was filled with jokes about UFO’s and little green men for a few moments, but went silent after one pilot asked:

“Hey, isn’t the Shuttle supposed to be landing today?”

Everyone knew what had just happened without saying another word about it:  Columbia disintegrated over Texas and Louisiana.

(Interestingly enough, I was working at the flight school where Zacharias Moussaoui, often called the 20th Hijacker from 9/11, tried to learn to fly.  He never did.)

The era of re-usable space vehicles began at the end of my Freshman year of High School.  So did the first “real” return of Star Trek.  NASA had built and was going to launch its first winged spacecraft, The Space Shuttle.  They called it a Space Transportation System (STS).  Since I had also just heard about a second Star Trek movie being made, I called it a fourteen (and three quarters!) year-old space nerd’s dream.

I just hoped the movie wouldn’t suck this time.

I had been hooked on space exploration from a much earlier age.  In fact, I can’t recall not thinking about space.  I also can’t remember not watching Star Trek.  Though I’m not sure if I actually remember the moment humans touched down in the sea of tranquility , some of my earliest memories are of televsion images showing people going to the moon.  And Spock doing a mind-meld with the Horta.

Thanks to an uncle who supplied the military with high speed cameras (he got started filming captured V-2’s after WWII) I had every single spaceflight poster that NASA and JPL ever produced.  I built model rockets, read everything about Apollo that I could get my hands on (no Google back then, remember?), started learning about airplanes and of course, watched re-runs of Star Trek.  My parents were supportive, but weren’t quite as enthusiastic as me.  They didn’t neccesarily share my excitement when we went to some exhibit and saw a lunar module (LM), a lunar roving vehicle (LRV)…

and a guy dressed like Spock.

I waited for the day when space travel would become commonplace.  And for the Enterprise to return.

Groovy Pants, Man! Image courtesy of NASA

In the following years, things started off pretty good.  Viking landers landed on Mars and the Voyager missions voyaged towards the outskirts of the Solar System.  I and about 10 gazillion other trekkers felt real excitement when NASA announced they would listen to us and name the first STS orbiter Enterprise.  We watched this winged spacecraft release from the back of a 747 and then glide to a landing.

Then things began to fall apart.  Because of late design changes, Enterprise would never fly to space.  We’d been ripped off!  The re-launch of Star Trek, gave us those horrible uniforms, an unfamiliar bridge and an embarrassingly long shot of NCC-1701 in space dock.  Sure, I missed seeing her, but geez!  Worst of all was the plot, which basically revolved around some practical joker aliens who had done their version of “Pimp my Ride” to one of our Voyager spacecraft.

Pain!

Where were the real people in space?

It had been about 20 years since humans had first orbited the earth and the good old US of A had no capability to put a crew “up there”.  In contrast, 20 Years after the Wright Brothers’ success at  Kill Devil Hill we had not only fought a war with airplanes, we were doing Astronomy with them!

When you’re a kid, time goes by very, very slowly.  Every delay in the program was agonizing, worse than waiting for summer vacation.  But on April 12th, 1981 I got my wish.  I watched the most technologically advanced aircraft ever built hurtle towards space.  I was so excited by the whole thing that my mom let me stay home from school to see the landing.  I remember thinking John Young, who had already walked on the moon was the coolest guy ever.  After touchdown and rollout, the first thing he did was to do a walk-around (post-flight inspection) of his aircraft.  I knew how to do one of those!  I could connect with it.  It was familiar.

From that day on I dreamed of spaceflight and traveling to Florida to see a launch.  Over the years there were plans to go, but between launch scrubs, work and just Life in general I wasn’t able to see one until almost 28 years later.

Click to see my video

Looking south towards Cape Canaveral, I watched as Discovery’s main engines and then the solid rocket boosters roared to life.  Climbing higher and higher, I was amazed at just how bright the business end of this flying machine was.  I could see the telltale white plume of exhaust, so familiar, trailing down from the shuttle, down to the cape.  It marked the exact spot where Discovery had just left from.

About a minute into the flight, something began to change.

I must admit I was hoping, irrationally of course, for the shuttle to get past the point where Challenger did.  I wanted the crew to get past max Q (the point of maximum aerodynamic pressure) and “Go at throttle up”.  Silly, I know, but I was thinking it nonetheless.  Right about the time I heard Houston say those words, it seemed like the fire streaming from behind Discovery started growing…and growing, until it was impossibly long and bright.  Then I realized what had happened.  Off to my right, the setting sun had begun to illuminate the exhaust plume in brilliant shades of red and orange.

From the cockpit I have witnessed some gorgeous sights: sunrise over the Rockies; San Francisco Bay and the Golden Gate Bridge at sunset; all from thousands of feet in the air.  Even without the fact that humans were riding aboard its source, none of those compared to the colors and awe of the sun reflecting on and painting this man made cloud.

It was truly, truly awesome.

Of course, after seeing this gorgeous sight I was more than a little disappointed when I thought of how many other sunset launches I had missed.  But I was pleased to hear Launch Director Mike Leinbach say in his post launch briefing:

“I’ve seen a lot of launches, either as a test director or the launch director, and this was the most visually beautiful launch I’ve ever seen…It was just spectacular”

Boy did I pick a good one.

The Lord Giveth?

courtesy of coloribus.com

Evidently, the HIV virus evolves so fast that scientists might not be able to develop a vaccine.  The findings were published in Nature a few days ago.

I can’t wait until Pat Robertson and Fred Phelps hear about this one.  Their collective heads are going to explode as soon as they start thinking about how to spin it!!

Hmmmm…

Will they say AIDS is God’s rapidly evolving punishment for homosexuality or that Satan is so evil because he made the virus good at being subject to natural selection?

Oh wait, viruses aren’t alive.  Does that mean they don’t have souls?

The Sky is Falling!

“Beware the fallacies into which undisciplined thinkers most easily fall–they are the real distorting prisms of human nature.”

–Francis Bacon

Recently, CNN decided to cut their science department.  Apparently they got rid of their sound argument and research departments as well.  They seem much more interested in presenting shocking, often misleading details than in providing fact or sound reason.  Speculation about the cause of an accident is certainly common, but for a news network to do so live, on-air while the fires still burn (as in the Buffalo crash) is irresponsible and approaches blatant yellow journalism.

The reality is that more people will watch a story about a plane crash, than one that points out how and why aviation is safer than driving.  For an example, look no further than this article.  Though in the beginning it is written to sound like the focus is on the good news / bad news that yes, there have been some crashes recently, but the crashes are survivable, they just don’t do a good job of explaining why.  They cite fewer casualties, specifically the “Miracle on The Hudson” USAir (Cactus) flight 1549 and the Turkish Airline crash in a muddy field near Amsterdam as evidence in itself.  Again, why?  Though they really attempt to provide no direct argument as to why 1549’s unscheduled swim produced no fatalities, the reason for so few deaths in Amsterdam is found in the sharp observation that “the impact had been severe but it could have been survivable because of the lack of fire.”

As My Somewhat Personal Acquaintance Phil Plait^TM would probably say, “DUH!”

(Note: The phrase My Somewhat Personal Acquaintance Phil Plait^TM in no way borrows from, makes use of or infringes upon My Somewhat Personal Acquaintance Phil Plait^TM‘s adage for Mythbuster Adam Savage)

The pictures from Amsterdam show a plane in a muddy field broken into at least three pieces – severe damage by any definition.  It is possible that the fuel tanks remained intact, but unlikely.  So why was there no fire?  There are several reports that fuel starvation is to blame.  The FAA has put higher flammability standards in place, but they wouldn’t be a factor in this case.  No fuel, means no fire. unconfirmed

Duh.

Update: Now it sounds as if  this crash was a result of the pilots failing to add power once they had leveled off.  It is normal and in fact very efficient (and safe) to reduce power on the engines to idle when descending.  The aircraft essentially glides to a lower altitude (converting gravitational potential energy into lift in the process).  Normally, once the plane levels off, power is added to maintain speed and altitude.

So what were the factors contributing to this “Miracle in The Mud”?  CNN doesn’t help much here as they don’t really point out the most likely reason.  For that, you have to dig just a little.  There is a link to a video where it appears that moments after the crash an expert was hastily summoned for discussion.  He points out what probably saved lives in this crash – stronger seats.  In 2002 the FAA mandated stronger flooring, rails and seats capable of withstanding 16g’s.  The prior standard was 9g’s.  Though the rule does not require retrofit of existing aircraft and only applies to ones built after October of 2009, many manufacturers have voluntarily put the stronger seats in place on new planes in anticipation of the rule.  Considering the photographic evidence of just how badly this plane in Amsterdam was damaged, it seems to be a no-brainer to say that stronger seats at least played a role in saving lives.  Though a reference is made to this fact in the last sentence, it is too bad this wasn’t  included in or explored in the main body of the article.  Instead, they made sure to include such useful details like the fact that the Turkish Airlines logo was “split in two”.  Crucial information.

But what about “The Miracle in the Hudson”?

As long as sensational reports such as the aircraft “hitting the water at 150 MPH” confuse how fast the plane was moving through the air with how fast it contacted the water (less than 5 MPH) it is no wonder people think supernatural intervention was required.  In fact, reports from the pilots and the flight attendants indicate that other than where they landed, it wasn’t that rough.  An off-duty pilot on board described it as “no worse than [an aircraft] carrier landing” – certainly much, much less than 9g’s, the old standard for seats.  This was a controlled, though zero-thrust landing that just happened to be in the water.

Look, even though they are exceedingly rare, airline accidents have been on our collective mind lately.  In the past 6 weeks at least four high profile incidents have been all over the news.  Newspapers (does anyone still read the newspaper for news?), CNN and now even twitter give us shocking images of twisted, broken machines lying on the ground (Cue James Taylor).  After watching such reports, I can’t blame anyone for being a little apprehensive about getting on an airplane.  I’m not going to try and change your mind.

I can’t.

You’re either going to fly or you’re not.  But that’s another issue.  Just remember, disproportional news coverage of aviation accidents that focus on the sensational aspects leave out one very important thing:

Airline accidents don’t happen very often.

“A Place for your stuff” – a quickie

One of my favorite George Carlin bits is the one where he talks about his “stuff” (For those of you who haven’t heard it, watch this.  NSFW, BTW. For language).

Well, just like George, I’m always looking for a place to put my stuff, in this case – skeptical podcasts.  For a few years now, I’ve kept an html file with the ones I listen to saved on my desktop.  Hi-tech, I know.  Since I haven’t graduated to the level of uber-geek that many of you have (using iTunes), I just used this page to organize my downloads.  I even made it my start page for awhile.

This weekend I attended the first ever Atlanta Skepticamp.  It was an evening and a day of local skeptics giving talks on subjects ranging from Theater Superstitions to Neural Plasticity.  I was impressed not only with how diverse a group of presenters we had, but how ridiculously smart the audience was.  Our local folks are awesome!

Beat that Colorado!

Friday evening there was a joint podcast with Derek and Swoopy from Skepticality and John and David from American Freethought.   At one point, Swoopy commented that she was surprised no one had created a directory of skeptical podcasts.  72 hours later, here it is:

Skeptcast.com

Yes it is plain and ugly (sorry Phlebas).  Yes I did it in a blog generator (WordPress).  Let’s face it, the design isn’t going to win any webbies (or “A” webby, for that matter).

But that’s not why I created it.  I did that because: 1.) I’ve been extremely lazy about updating this blog and felt a little guilty when all these people at skepticamp were doing so much for skepticism; 2.) I suck at design.  I (use to) write code for a living, not make things pretty and finally 3.) I’m cheap.  WordPress hosts it for free.

For now, I really want to limit the site to just skeptical podcasts, at least on the main page.  That might evolve over time, though.  If you have suggestions for podcasts for me to include (or remove) please do so here.

For now, well I gotta go finish season one of Battlestar Galactia.

-J

Only Thing We Have To Fear Is Fear Itself

Imagine the scene:

With seemingly out of control inflation and unemployment figures; facing bleak real estate and stock markets; saddled by war debt and a tarnished global reputation, the newly-elected president, a Harvard graduate, former attorney who served as a Democratic State Senator steps up to the podium to give his inaugural address:

I am certain that my fellow Americans expect that on my induction into the Presidency I will address them with a candor and a decision which the present situation of our people impel. This is preeminently the time to speak the truth, the whole truth, frankly and boldly. Nor need we shrink from honestly facing conditions in our country today. This great Nation will endure as it has endured, will revive and will prosper. So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.

Of course by now you realize I’m not talking about a potential future speech by Barack Obama, I’m talking about the January 1933 speech given by Franklin Delano Roosevelt. His first of four, a feat no President has or ever will repeat.

He certainly had his detractors – called both a warmonger and a fascist. It has been said that his economic policies actually prolonged The Great Depression by infringing upon Adam Smith’s notion of The Invisible Hand. And ok, sure, today his numerous calls to the divine and asking for the “blessing of God” later in the speech would have the ACLU filing a separation of church and state lawsuit faster than you can say Flying Spaghetti Monster.

But despite his political and philisophical shortcomings, I see in FDR’s speech a call for critical thinking:

This is preeminently the time to speak the truth, the whole truth, frankly and boldly. Nor need we shrink from honestly facing conditions in our country today.

And he channels Thomas Paine with

Restoration calls, however, not for changes in ethics alone. This Nation asks for action, and action now.

So what action am I alluding to? Thinking critically in the face of fear. Do you have friends who are afraid to have their children vaccinated? Show them articles like this.  We all have a relative who doesn’t trust doctors and seeks out so-called alternative medicine.  What can it hurt, right?  Think pseudoscience does no harm? Take a look here.

Of course you can’t just preach at them.

While talking to Dr G tonight about what I hope to do with this blog, she told me about a valuable lesson she learned while running for office. Her strategy to win started with discussing solutions to issues at hand in the same way she always had – with her closest friends.  Initial polling showed of course, that she already had their votes. The eureka moment came when she realized that she had to convince the remaining 99.9% of her constituents to support her.  And while her personal circle adored her (as do I, Doc), to win the election she had to reach the masses on their own terms with their own language.

We cannot change the way people think overnight, we must be patient yet diligent, persuasive, yet gentle. A century and a half before FDR, even Thomas Paine knew he had to speak the language of his audience.

Thanks to The Bad Astronomer, WhatsTheHarm.net and orDover for writing what they write, fighting what they fight and inspiring so much in me. And of course, to Dr G.

She did win her High School Student Council Election, BTW.

What an Arse!

Of late, banter with my friend The Skepbitch – the Cunning Linguist herself – has revolved around an obsessive-compulsive behavior of mine.  Though I’m straying into new territory by revealing myself, here goes:

For some odd reason I have this awful affinity for alliteration.  As in Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.

Some people step over cracks, I repeat first consonant sounds in phrases.

(See, I knew this blog would somehow be cathartic and therefore much cheaper than counseling!)

Today she posted a funny-assed article about the meaning of the phrase Half-Assed. Please read it, but remember – she’s really smart.  And has a PhD in LINGUISTICS. So don’t feel bad if, like me, you have to use wikipedia to be sure of the meaning of some of the words.  No complaints here, though.  I like when a woman teaches me new words.  Brings me back to first grade and Mrs. Teal.

Ahh…Mrs. Teal, with her beautiful bee-hive bouffant …err..coiffe.

Wait, back to Karen –  I’m really not sure which impresses me more: the fact that she knows so many eloquent-ass phrases or that she knows so many eloquent ass-phrases.

Anyway, I couldn’t resist an alliterative admiration addendum (see what I mean?). I had to leave a comment.

Alas, I’m such a jerk.